always a step behind.
behind at school
behind in friends
behind in style
behind in trends
behind in life
watching every one race ahead.
picking up their broken toys
not understanding them

So you wake up in the morning and your all alone. You go to work. You pray that no one talks you to because they might ask you something that you just don't have the answers for. And you stare a the screen and all your failures that are stored on it. And finally the end of the day comes and you go home. There you find all your unfinished projects, in reality the only projects you have are unfinished. And your dog would rather chew his bone. The cats done even know you are alive. And the only other person in the house barely acknowledges your presence. You make dinner, take out the trash, put dishes away, spend some time on the computer, go to bed. and repeat, repeat, repeat. You see your life stretched before you. And you realize that all you have to live for are movies that might come out and you just don't really care about them any more, books that you never read any more. You have no friends and your family has better things to do that to spend time with you. If you disappeared tomorrow, some people might wonder what happened to you but within 3 months it would be as if you never existed. You are a non-entity. A space filler.

There is no Girlie in Science

So. Now that you are here and I have locked all the doors, we can get down to the subject at hand. Please stop screaming. The walls are sound proof and it will just give me a headache.

What is “Girlie science, sci-fi, and fantasy”?

Is it pink with sparkles? Is it ponies and princes in white armor?

Not to me. To me, it’s all Girlie. Actually its Womanly. Because I am a woman and I am claiming it ALL FOR ME. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA mine mine mine mine mine.

The idea of “Girlie” is purely a social one. And social ideas are constantly changing, Thank the makers of power tools.

When my mother was a girl, girls were not allowed to take shop class. Power tools were for boys only. In junior high and in high school, I took several different types of shop.

Did that make me less of a girl? We could consult a doctor, but I am pretty sure they would agree that I am still very much a girl. Further more, I feel like a girl. When I think of my self, I think of myself as a girl. I may not dress in skirts and high heels, but I am a girl and I will beat you up if you say other wise.

Science. How is it girlie? It's not. Science is as genderless as you can get. Do the protons in the atoms care if they are making something all pink and glittery? I doubt it. Although, I don’t talk to them that often, so maybe they do. What about gravity? Or how about biology? Some could say that since biology has to do with things like reproduction and the production of offspring, it is girlie. Others could say that biology is manly because it has to do with urges to fight and fuck. But I disagree with both. Because it is both and neither. In organisms that are asexual there is no boy vs. girl. Just a lot of masturbation. In duel gender spiecies, it’s a lot like love and marriage. According to that annoying song, you can’t have one without the other. No boys? No girls. So all those little babies making people yell “girlie girlie girlie” need to realize all those babies are also there because of all the “manly manly manly”. And all those fights, that raw male aggression? What and why do the boys (and girls) fight? That’s right. Sex, baby. Also food and territory and other stuff. Stuff both genders need.

So what other factors could make science girlie? The scientists? But that isn’t science, that’s social constraints. That’s the social idea that boys or girls are better suited to studying something. Now this is not always untrue. Sometimes the structure of the brain does play a part in our abilities to explore some ideas. But if we never give the other brain structures a try, we could miss something important. Like BBQ sauce and ranch on fries. Hmmmmm fries.

So what about science fiction and fantasy? We have things like *gag* Twilight, or Gor, in which men are men and women are usually tied up. Hmmmm Kinky. But is one girlie and one manly? We say yes, but why? Because Twilight is all romantic and sparkly? And because Gor has bondage and violence? Can’t a man like a little candle-light romance? I really don’t know, go ask your dad. But what about the stuff generally considered “manly”? Conan, with his big sword. Not that sword, you perv. And his scantily clad women. Why is that stuff considered in the realm of MEN. Can’t women run around with swords? Well according to Red Sonja we can. But society says that’s for men. Well, you advertising sleezes, get your hands off my sword and but on this metal thong. It's MY turn.

In the past, science fiction was the playground of men. If you read the older science fiction books, women were there generally to play the damsel in distress, the sex object, or to raise the kids while the men were off killing aliens. But time has progressed and women have been sneaking in and fighting the aliens. So what makes things girlie? Or manly? Make up? Men were the first to wear that. Clothes? Does anyone remember some of those outfits men used to sport in the Victorian age? Sex? Men and women both do that. And you should thank your parents for that. I say calling something “Girlie” or “Manly” is just another way of applying social constraints. It is said that into a closed mind, no flies will land. But neither will the light of the moon. Which is male for Tolkien and female for a number of other people.

Now as soon as you finish rolling your eyes and throwing things at me, we will deal with the issue of why men get “Manly” and women get “Girlie”. How about “Boylie” and “Womanly”? After all, we do mature faster. Thank you and Good Night.

And now for something different.

I am an equilist. I believe that we are all equal, we are equally entitled to all things science and fiction, and all the wonders between, from swords to space ships; and that we all equally have something to offer. Perhaps not the same thing. But we have something to offer. When I look at the world I look at it as an engineer, as human being, as a geek, as a daughter, a sister, a friend, and sometimes as a woman.